Things Never Change
by mandancie
Summary: My take on what happened after Mary left. Spoilers for Season 12 episode 3.


**I do not own Supernatural.**

 **A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

 **A/N: I know it has been a very long time since I've posted anything Supernatural. Please forgive me. Though, I love the show dearly, and nothing will ever stop me from watching it. My husband was my biggest supporter when it came to writing stories about Sam and Dean. After his passing, it became harder and harder to write about the show that I loved and not be able to bounce the idea with my husband.**

 **I thank you for being patient with me. Please leave a review letting me know what you think.**

 **Spoiler: Season 12 episode 3**

 **Summary: Here is my take on what happened after Mary left.**

 **Things Never Change**

It has been an hour since Mary Winchester walked out of the bunker. Sam was still in the library in shock at what he just witnessed. Dean didn't stay. He left out of the room and down towards the back hallway. Sam didn't know where his brother was going, but once he left the room, Sam began feeling that loneliness that he thought was long since gone.

Dean left Sam in the library without saying a word because he didn't want to look into his brother's face. He didn't want to see that same look that he always saw when they were growing up, asking where their dad was, why was dad always gone, and why mom wasn't here anymore. And without looking at Sam, when their mother told them that she was leaving, Dean knew that same look was going to be on Sam's face. The same puppy-eyed, brokenhearted look he always had.

Dean didn't want to see that look. He knew that that look was going to put his mother in the same category as he did his father. And he did not want to do that. Yes, Dean respected John Winchester. He followed his orders and was a good soldier, but he also resented the man. He resented John because he made him grow up so fast. Not that he would change his relationship with his brother, but sometimes he really did wish he to had a simple childhood. Those few months at that home showed him something that he never thought he would have. He told Sam that it was a punishment. It was him earning his keep, but deep down Dean knew that just those few months showed him what it was like to be a true teenager. Now, does he regret stealing those items that got him into to trouble in the first place? Not one bit. They were for Sammy. Does he regret leaving his true taste of being just a teenager and not a caregiver? Absolutely not. Sammy comes first. Sammy always came first. And nothing or no one will ever change that.

"Dean," Sam called out from the hallway.

Dean was sitting in the kitchen. He lifted his head and looked at the doorway. He knew that Sam would find him and in short order as well. It was something that was ingrained in Sam. After dad would leave on hunting trips, Sam would search Dean out. When he was younger, Sam would be Dean's little shadow, following him around wherever he would go. As Sam got older, he was more conscious of the hovering and would go to look at Dean and walk off. It wasn't all the time, but it did happen.

Dean sighed, as he knew that Sam was resorting back to that now that their mom has now left them behind.

"Dean," came Sam's voice from the hallway, again. This time it was closer.

Again, Dean didn't say anything. He just looked up at the doorway. Not a minute later, Sam walked to the doorway. He didn't step in. He was just standing in the doorway.

"Hey Dean," was all Sam said.

Dean looked at his brother and could see the heartbreak and hurt in his face. Like always, Dean wished that he could take his pain away, but he knew that deep down he couldn't and would never be able to.

"Yeah, Sam," Dean said, quietly.

Sam opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and abruptly shut it. Dean knew he was struggling but waited to see what Sam was going to do next.

Sam looked at his brother for a few moments then turned.

"Sammy," Dean called out.

Sam halted his movements and turned back to face is older brother.

"Is there something that you want?" Dean asked, but he already knew the answer to the question.

"Uh, no," Sam tried to say, nonchalantly, but it didn't come out that way. "I'm going to take a shower and then turn in."

Dean's only response to that was nodding his head. Sam left the doorway in the direction of the bathroom. After sitting there for a moment, Dean couldn't stand the awkward silence anymore. He got up and left out, heading towards the garage.

_0000_0000_0000

Sam walked down the hallway towards his room. He went straight for his nightclothes, which were sweats and a t-shirt and went straight to the bathroom. Standing under the spray of the water, Sam thought about everything that happened in the last few days. Dean offering up to kill Amara, his belief that Dean was dead, getting shot by some crazy bitch that claimed she want to just talk and finally, finding out that Dean wasn't really dead and that their mother was back from the dead.

The elation Sam felt seeing and holding his mother was almost too much for him. All of his life he had wanted to know how it felt to have his mother wrap her arms around him. A small part of his was always jealous of Dean because Dean got to experience spending time with their mom. Sam hadn't. As the hot water cascaded down from Sam's head, he quickly dismissed his idea that Dean hated him or that he, himself, was jealous of Dean. In his head he knew that Dean wasn't upset with him, but his heart was telling him differently.

Sam got out of the shower and after drying off; he got dressed in his sweats and t-shirt. When he got out of the bathroom, his first impulse was to go and find Dean again. He quickly dismissed that idea because he didn't want to hover over his brother. Even though, deep down, Sam knew that Dean really didn't care, but Sam wasn't a little boy anymore. He was thirty-three years old. He didn't need reassurances from his big brother anymore.

Who was he kidding? He did need those reassurances, but he wasn't going to track Dean down and hover behind his brother to get them. He was thirty-three. He had been subjected to all different kinds of torture. He had hunted the worst monsters around. He didn't need to be a shadow to his big brother.

Once he got into his room, after closing the door, he crawled onto his bed, laying on top of the duvet, and looked up at the ceiling.

Sam didn't know how long he was lying on the bed and honestly but he really didn't care. He was brought out of his solitude by a rap on his door.

"Sam," Dean's voice on the other side of the door. "I know you're not asleep. Get up."

Sam looked at the closed door, with a puzzled look on his face. He heard Dean's footsteps continue down the hallway, letting Sam know that he was no longer standing on the other side of the door. Slowly, Sam got up and opened the door, once he got close to it. Sam looked down both ends of the hallway, wondering which way Dean went. Sam was just about to call out where Dean was, when Dean's voice permeated throughout the hallway.

"Come to the library."

Sam walked down the hallway. When he came out to the main room, what he saw brought the biggest smile on his face. Dean was sitting at the table, he had his laptop out and there was on a menu to _Caddyshack_ , waiting for it to press play. There were food all over the table; bananas, peanut butter, two loaves of bread, a bag of licorice, and a pie. Sam walked up the few steps and was caught by surprised by something flying towards him. He caught the bag that he saw was popcorn kernels.

"Go pop those, and don't burn them," Dean ordered, pulling the drinks out of another bag that was on the table.

Sam just stood there for a moment and watched Dean. Dean looked up at him.

"Some time today," Dean said.

"Yeah," Sam said, coming out of his stupor. He turned and headed for the kitchen.

"Don't forget the to bring the knife and plates," Dean yelled after Sam.

It didn't take long for Sam to pop the popcorn and place the snack in a large bowl. When he walked back into the library, _Caddyshack_ was already starting on the laptop. Dean was sitting at the end of the table with a smorgasbord in front of him.

"Finally," Dean said when he saw Sam. "I started the movie."

"What's all this about?" Sam asked sitting down next to his brother, putting the bowl of popcorn down and giving his brother the knife.

"I was hungry," Dean said, dismissively.

Sam looked around at the many snack items and couldn't help smiling again. Glad that he brought two knives, he began making his peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

The two of them sat back as they enjoyed the movie that they have seen plenty of times, laughing at the same parts like before, eating their snacks and simply just enjoying each other.

While the movie was playing and Sam was eating his third sandwich, Dean looked over at his brother and tried to keep his hurt and anger off of his face. It seemed like history was repeating itself. Dean knew that Sam was going to come with questions. Questions that he knew he was going to have to answer again, but this time it would be about mom and not dad.

After the movie went off and they watched some _Three Stooges_ , Sam went to bed. Dean could see that his little spirit boost for his brother worked. This time when Sam went to his room, he wasn't as crestfallen as he was before. Dean waited until he knew for sure that Sam was in his room and this time was asleep before he, once again, left the bunker. This time his destination was deliberate. When he went out the first time, yes, he was going to get food, but he also want to know where he could find their mother. Now that Sam was asleep, Dean knew where he had to go.

_0000_0000_0000_0000

Mary was sitting at the small table in her hotel room, looking through John's journal. A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts. Pulling a gun out of her bag, she slowly walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Frowning, she put the gun behind her back hanging in her belt at the small of her back. Stepping back, she opened the door.

"Dean."

"I know you made it very clear that you don't want to be around us, but we need to talk," Dean said.

Mary opened the door, allowing Dean to enter the room.

"Where's Sam?" Mary asked, as she closed the door back.

"Asleep," Dean said, walking towards the table.

"Listen Dean-" Mary began, but Dean held up his hand, stopping his mother's words.

"I am not planning on staying long, as I will not stay where I am not wanted."

"Dean please, I never said that I didn't want you," Mary pleaded.

Dean looked at the journal that was still on the table, flipping through the pages.

"Oh, I heard what you said," Dean said, looking back to his mother. "And I wanted to tell you to take all the time that you need. As a matter of fact, don't bother coming back."

Mary's brow furrowed.

"For years I had to comfort Sam when Dad left. Yeah, you said that you never wanted us to be in this life. But here we are. And while dad was trying to find the thing that killed you, he was also battling the creatures that showed up on the way. During those times, he would be gone for weeks if not months at a time. So it was up to me to take care of Sammy. It was me that had to hear all the questions of where dad was, when was he coming home, does dad even love us anymore."

Mary had tears in her eyes as she listen to her oldest son speak.

"Not to mention the many questions he had about you," Dean continued. "I will not go through that again. I will not put Sam through that again."

"Dean, you're being unfair," Mary said with a small but distinct tremble in her voice.

"No, what's unfair was Sammy and me not having a childhood," Dean said with anger in his tone. He quickly took a deep breath, letting it go slowly. The last thing he wanted to do was lose his temper. He did not want to do that.

"Forgive me," Dean said. "I just wanted to tell you that when you figure out what it is you are going to do, leave Sammy and me out of it."

Dean walked towards the door. Passing Mary, she grabbed his arm stopping him.

"You're my son," Mary said, tears streaming down her face. "I just need to wrap my head around everything."

"I am your son," Dean said. "Sammy is your baby. But what you are doing is running away. Believe me, I know. It's what Dad did; running instead of dealing."

Mary was so stunned by what Dean said, that she didn't feel him move from her grasp or even see him walk out of the door. Everything felt like it was in a vacuum and she didn't realize she was alone until she heard the door close. She thought she was missing her husband and her two babies. After hearing what Dean said to her, just made her heart break even more. Thinking she was doing what would have been best for her, seemed to not be what was best for her now adult sons.

What was the right answer? Mary thought as she sat back down in the chair she vacated when Dean knocked. She cried into her cupped hands, realizing there was no real way to work things out without hurting someone.

 **A/N: I know I left this story open-ended. I did that because I, too, would love to know how this all will work out between the Winchesters.**

 **Thank you very much**

 **Many hugs and kisses to you all**

 **Mandancie :)**


End file.
